crap

So last week i received an email saying that I had two weeks to get out of my site because it is one of the few places in Peru that had hemorrhagic dengue in the past and has a strong history of lots of dengue plus the fact that I already had it once. So I then freaked out, cried, had a small life crisis, sent an angry email, and waited. During the day I received several phone calls all very blurry about where I was going, when, for how long, if I would come back or not to my site. Nerve racking. Then at five oclock I received another phone call saying I could stay. So I am living on the edge so to speak because I do not know whether it is 100% or not that I can stay especially because so many people in other parts of peru are dying of a new form of dengue. dont you love how viruses can mutate to be killers. I do not feel very threatened at the moment because there have been no cases yet of dengue in my site and it is not raining. Should it be a dry season I should be in the clear. If many cases of dengue show up in my site and the rains come I will probably have to evacuate my site at least for some months. It is distracting to try to work knowing that it could all be for nothing and at any moment I could be leaving. I have also decided that I am going to try to be more supportve of my organization and get more involved in the monthly meetings and in feb there is a celebration of the 50th aniversary of Peace corps. As I realized that I could perhaps better and change the service of other volunteers. I am doing a sweet job of recovering malnourished kids and this week have been working to try to better the abliities of professionals here. I am giving a bunch of resources and trainings so that the teachers, municipality, and health professionals can do a better job and produce more prepared mothers, students, and new professionals. I think the fact that I might be leaving is getting me thinking more about how to be sustainable how to get changes to last once I am gone. And really trying to get more professionals to do more work outside of what they are required. I am helping on improving the trash service here so that there is not such a problem with trash in my site. Decreasing the amount of complaints, people throwing trash in inappropriate locations, throwing out dead animals whereever, and burning trash. So far I have formed two committees that will be responsible for the upkeep getting people to pay fines for not doing what they should be. I have my hands dirty everyday. ill keep you updated i might end up in the mountains.

m & E

New years was fun i made a doll representing things that i hate like domestic violence, alcoholism, and male superiority. and we burned it at midnight. if only i was so easy to burn social problems. i hosted a dinner party for my friends and then we went out to a party at my friends house dancing in the street until 4 am. The next day i painted our bathroom bright blue. nice spruce up.So my entirety for the moment is monitoring and evaluation. holding meetings with comittees planning for the year. writing and rewriting projects. visiting families and doing interviews to see what they know now so i can better develop teaching materials and then see in the end whether or not they learned. it is not glamorous or fun but arguably necessary. the recycling project i started in the high school is going to be accepted into the entire community and the municipality is going to use it as a small business. i am still waiting to hear whether or not they are approving the cook stove project but i am 80% sure that they will. the parent school is not going to be my problem this year i am only working as an outside consultant to develop the training for trash management and nutrition if those are themes they elect. I believe that it is a great project but i think that if i get stuck in charge again that it will fail when i leave. i want to get youth health promoters to teach sex ed but i do not know if that is going to happen. i am also trying to work with two of my friends to get a nursery going or growing ha. which would also be a small business for them. i just want there to be more trees in my site. i have two families that accepted guinea pigs into their homes witht he hopes that it will become trendy and more families will want to do it. I trained a guy how to build cement platforms for latrines and am working with getting families to buy their own. another small business for that guy. still working at the health post. I think that my municipality has a lot of hope with this new team they have. there are two younger girls on it and they are really moving and shaking. i started doing yoga and running with a friend. workout buddies are such useful things in a weight loss program. running was not nearly as hard as i had thought it would be and now that i use the breathing techniques i learned in yoga i can run farther without getting tired or feeling like i am going to die from lack of oxygen. i am planting right now because the rain still has not come but maybe soon, cucumber, radishes, and soy. I learned how to make soy milk way better than buying it. my host mom seems to be really supportive of the fact that i do not like meat and has been giving me practically none. so back to organics and veggies yes. oh though i am fearful because the dengue situation here is apparently serious this year and if i get bit i could bleed out. i am covered regularly with repellent. but nerve racking thinking that on little bugger could get the best of me. working out a plan with the doctors so that i can get to a hospital asap before i bleed out. just in case. i think i will be teaching a college prep course in summer school. which has me thinking about next year in my own life and where am i headed or staying or going. time flies and i hope it does not get ahead of me. i keep waiting for the universe to give me a sign. i am reading this book about how to end poverty. it is making me feel like if i really want to change the world i have to work on policy but i do not really have interest in that. hoping my friends do and then i can just influence.