Wedding excitement

February was filled with meetings, I decided to participate in the yearly planning meetings with the new PC direction, it was so refreshing to know that I shared the vision of what development is, what the mission of PC is and how to help volunteers. The new director and subdirector literally repeated words I had said the year before and gotten scolded for. Those days served as great getting to know you moments and team building. The rest of the time we had been taking care of all the paperwork stuff. Well let's just say the problems first got a lot worse before they got better, but for some reason it reassured our relationship, the being able to have to fight for what we wanted to achieve together. Really I am grateful Joel knows how to deal with my anxiousness in uncertain times and motivate me to keep moving forward. To take the stress off every Sunday we go down to the beach that is 15 minutes from our house to be reminded that our lives are small in front of such a great force of nature like the ocean, breath fresh air and bask in the sun. Once we got the green light and a DATE March 7, the count down and planning began, we are going to have like 25 people attend a civil ceremony in the municipality where we live, we will have some h'ordeuvres, champagne and cupcakes. It will be short and sweet and then we will go take pictures down by the beach. My mom decided to come literally one week before simply because we only knew one week before, which meant I was now going to be able to have the ceremony I wanted in the dress we bought together, with grams rings and my mom give away the bride . Unfortunately for the short notice desi wont be able to come but we still plan on having a ceremony in Colorado for all my friends and family that couldn't make it. It is such a world wind of coordination and excitement. Also to my surprise my old boss organized me a wedding shower which was really adorable in a nice restaurant overlooking the water at sunset. I got towels, wine glasses, sheets, silverware and twister. Feeling motivated to take advantage of these fun parties I decided to plan a bachelorette party tonight 10 girls and me are headed to see some handsome men dance..  My mom arrives tomorrow and we are going to make the best of the 4 days she is here. My reflections on getting married are that it is exciting once everything is planned you start to get a little nervous for me it is having to be emotional/ vulnerable in front of a group of 25 people in heels (without falling fingers crossed) But the commitment part to Joel doesn't make me nervous in the least, I would say we have had a less than conventional love story with perhaps what others consider too much honesty, clumsiness, being 100% ourselves. But that is the great myth about finding love as little girls and teenagers we are trained to try to be this perfect woman to be able to find the perfect man, we are trained to appear instead of be, and omit or hid too many things that make us who we are. The truth is people should find themselves and be that person unchanging until they find someone who accepts them for exactly as they are and helps them become even more. I can say with so much confidence that Joel has helped me work through many of my issues, insecurities and imperfections he has polished me to become who I have always wanted to and continues to help me grow the same way that I know I help him. It is a truly energetic relationship. I agree that while interests in common help the relationship more important are values/lifestyles. We copy what our partners do so it is important to find someone that you admire their lifestyle so that when you later begin to live like that you are healthy and happy. I have helped 4 people get engaged/married in the last 2 years. It is an incredible experience to help people develop themselves as people and improve relationships. I still wholeheartedly believe in the importance of living together before getting married for at least 6 months to a year so that you can see all their habits annoying or otherwise and be able to see if you can deal with it or not. And though we rarely argue I love that he always throws whatever argument I am using against him against me to help me see if I am being unfair. I am excited to see what our lives bring, to travel and continue to grow together. He has called me his refuge and he is without a doubt my home. I am so grateful for all the people who have helped me get to this point, who have loved me unconditionally, who support my decisions, who believe in me, I love you all so much and can say I am officially a woman and a wife.